Empower your piston pressure!

Car-enhancing thingamajig

I am indebted to the reader who pointed me to the eBay listing for this item.

As he said, the listing really does tell you everything you need to know about it:

Car Drive Power Igniting Ignite Engine Air Power Plus

Descriptions:

* Most Hi-Tech, Quality product;
* Power up your car engine;
* Power and smooth driving;
* Auto adjust electronic frequency system, to fasten super plugs igniting the engine accurately within the shortest time, and also to empower the piston pressure to its maximum emplosion;
* Size: 70 x 25mm (L*D)
* Weight: 70g

From the description, you'd think it was meant to be some sort of high-energy-ignition doodad. But it's got a hose barb on either end, so perhaps you're meant to put it in your fuel line.

Or maybe the windscreen-washer hose.

I'm so confused.

(The listing also says "The photos are just for illustration purposes only", which I think you'll find is the usual purpose of photos in eBay listings. But perhaps it means the thing they send you will actually plug into the cigarette lighter socket, or something.)

Test Your Gullibility, installment #4732!

Why, readers? Why do you do this to me?

Whenever some new stupid fuel-saving thing comes along, you all insist on e-mailing me about it, as if you think I enjoy this stuff or something.

Magic Power System!

One of the people who told me about this "Magic Power System Power Shift Bar" mentioned that it could be an automotive example of Poe's Law, which states that no matter how outrageous your parody of religious fundamentalism, someone will still mistake it for the real thing.

As Jalopnik said, this sold-on-eBay device does indeed have the sort of feature list that suggests that someone made it up on a dare:

This compact Power Shift Bar is an Intelligent Electric Tune-up Device, which will dramatically improve the power & reduce fuel consumption of your car. Just plug it into the lighter socket of your car and drive. It is used for any vehicles operated on 12V batteries.
- enhance fuel efficiency - saves gasoline (10-30%)
- increase engine torque - increase power (2-5ps)
- reduce car emissions - contribute to the environment unconsciously
- improve car audio sounds
- the small device cleans the entire car electrically including its body

Yep, that's right - this 35-quid gadget is supposed to clean your car, as well as give you more power from less fuel. I presume the next version will wax your car as well.

All this from a device which, I remind you, just plugs into the cigarette-lighter socket!

The eBay seller has a tidal wave of other car-tat on offer, but the rest of it isn't woo-woo - it's things like keychains, extra-wide rear-vision mirrors and tissue boxes with manufacturers' logos on them. I had to add a lot of minuses to my search to find just the Power Bars, but they do seem to be the only really nutty thing on offer there.

I also, however, found the Power Bar on sale here, along with a selection of other extremely plausible devices.

Things to swirl up your air flow. A carbon-fibre elbow for your air intake called a "ZERO 1000 POWER CHAMBER", which appears to be another swirly thing, though other sellers don't give any clue about this $250-plus device's alleged means of operation. (Zero 1000 apparently also sell a magnetic fuel-line thingy.)

Oh, and there's also something called the "AIR CHARGER Pro", which has a dial on it and apparently uses "NANO TECHNOLOGY" and is "MULTI ADJUSTABLE". I think it's one of those electric supercharger doodads, but it's kind of hard to tell.

(Real experts, of course, also use a Fuel Charger Pro, as endorsed by Some Dude On Geocities. Not to be confused with the mere Fuel Charger, which is of course a "solid state electrostatic fuel ionizer" which "was designed according to physics research conducted by Cal Tech for NASA's Jet Propulsion Labs". I think that one's meant to be an atomisation enhancer.)

Even better than a banana in the tailpipe

Because my readers know I'm completely fed up with fuel-saving gadgets and potions, and want me to suffer, several of them have e-mailed me today to alert me to this Gizmodo piece about "Blade Exhaust Filters".

The Sabertec Blade is a doodad that you bolt onto the end of your car's exhaust pipe to "reduce emissions of CO2 and toxic particulate material, and it improves fuel economy to save you hundreds of dollars per year on gas"!

It is alleged to achieve this feat by doing something to the series of pressure pulses coming out through the exhaust system, thereby:

1: Increasing the efficiency of the catalytic converter. For the few minutes after you start the car, by restricting exhaust flow and thus letting the catalyst heat up faster. Whoopee.

2: "Increasing the Volumetric Efficiency (VE) of the engine"; allegedly allowing the engine to more easily get fresh air into its cylinders. The explanation given for this once again has to do with the pressure pulses of the exhaust; apparently the Blade is meant to act sort of like a tuned pipe for a two-stroke engine. It strikes me as rather implausible that a device attached to the end of the exhaust pipe shared by all of the cylinders can significantly (positively...) affect the breathing of each cylinder in turn.

The Blade is also claimed to be a filter that "physically captures gasoline and hydrocarbon particulates, as well as other solid inorganic emissions".

Pretty much zero "gasoline" should be making it past the catalyst anyway, which is just as well, because I can't imagine that a filter for volatile hydrocarbons would do anything other than stop a pulse of unburned fuel (when, for instance, you've just started a beat-up old engine) from all escaping at once. It'd just absorb it like a sponge and then let it slowly escape over time. Net gain, zero.

As far as filtering for particulate matter goes, "soot filters" for large diesel engines are quite common, but - as you'd expect - get clogged pretty quickly if they're not able to burn the soot off somehow (giving slightly higher CO2 emissions, but lower particulate emissions). The Blade has a replaceable filter cartridge - a new and a used one are shown in the pictures on this page. Apparently you're meant to replace the filter every seven to ten thousand miles; replacement filters cost $US19.99, while the Blade device itself costs $US199.

The Blade filter is, however, somehow supposed to decrease CO2 emissions as well, by "up to 12%". This strikes me as a very peculiar claim. What's it doing with the CO2? Cracking it to carbon that stays in the filter and oxygen that's released?

Let's assume, for the sake of argument, that this near-magical feat is in fact what it's doing. Doing this with nothing but exhaust heat to work with would, I think, be a Nobel-prize-winning achievement, but never mind. How much carbon would the thing actually have to catch, even if you replaced it every 7000 miles on the dot?

Well, the carbon dioxide molecule contains two oxygen atoms (atomic weight 16) and one carbon (atomic weight 12). So by weight, it's about 27.3% carbon.

7000 miles of driving is 11265 kilometres. If you're driving a car which emits a mere 100 grams of CO2 per kilometre, it'll emit a total mass of 1126.5 kilograms of CO2 over that period. The total mass of the carbon atoms in that much CO2 is 307.2 kilograms. Let's say that in this case the Blade's "up to 12%" CO2 catching turns out to mean "6%". 6% of 307.2 kilograms is 18.4 kilograms.

So if there isn't eighteen kilograms of soot in the filter when you replace it, you haven't caught six per cent of the carbon.

Note that carbon also isn't very dense. Even diamond only weighs about 3.5 grams per cubic centimetre. So even if the magic filter turned the magically extracted carbon into diamonds, you'd still end up with 5267 cubic centimetres, 312 cubic inches, of them clogging up the filter in the above situation. Graphite is only about 2.2 grams per cubic centimetre; that'd be 8379cc, 511 cubic inches, 2.2 US gallons, all somehow having to fit in the filter.

You could deal with the gallons of carbon clog by just burning off the carbon, but that would of course defeat the purpose of collecting it in the first place. Or you could just blow the soot out the exhaust pipe, but this would increase particulate matter emissions, which the Blade, you'll recall, is meant to reduce.

As far as improved fuel economy goes, it's uncontroversial that you can reduce the fuel consumption of internal combustion engines by restricting the air intake or, less elegantly, the exhaust. Restricting air intake is exactly what you're doing whenever you don't have the throttle wide open.

If you add more restriction one way or another, the airflow to and from the engine will fall for a given throttle setting, and at that throttle setting you will now use less fuel. But you'll also get less power. All you're really doing is saying "from now on, pushing the throttle all the way will do what pushing it four-fifths of the way used to do". You can achieve the same result by simply driving with less gusto, and never using full throttle.

This could be related to the fact that the Blade installation manual quietly says "The BLADE is not recommended for performance cars".

Oh, and what do you get if you search for the address of the one lab that allegedly found the Blade to work wonderfully well, in the single test of the device that's apparently ever been published?

Well, as I write this, you get the Web sites of people selling a crankcase ventilation doodad, the Fitch Fuel Catalyst, some concoction that's meant to give you a "more efficient and complete fuel burn" (when fuel is already almost 100% burned in modern engines...), and one of those electrolytic-hydrogen "combustion enhancers". I hope this lab will soon tell us all what it is that they do to get all of these devices to work so well, since they seem much less impressive when most people test them.

(Oh, and the Gizmodo piece says "Blade does have support from both the California Air Resources Board and the EPA". This is not true. What Blade actually say is that the laboratory that did the tests is "accepted by" the EPA and licensed by the CARB. This may indeed be the case, but it doesn't mean the government's checking their work, or has ever even seen the Blade test results. Treehugger made the same mistake when they wrote about the Blade and interviewed the CEO. Commenters there, and a couple of months earlier at AutoblogGreen, were unimpressed.)

As usual, if the Blade works as advertised it'd be worth hundreds of millions of dollars a year. But instead of getting it properly tested by a variety of labs and then licensing it for gigabucks to car manufacturers, major fleet operators, huge industrial concerns and so on, Sabertec instead sell it directly to motorists. Just like the Fitch Fuel Catalyst, fuel-combustion-improvers, hydrogen generators, and the Firepower pill.

If you believe those things work, then the Blade will be another fine belief to add to your portfolio. Use all of this stuff on your car at once and I bet it'll start creating petrol while you drive.

Posted in Cars, Scams. 9 Comments »

I do like a good link-spam in the morning

From: "Kyra jhons" <kyra.jhons@beacaliforniaspermdonor.com>
To: Blogsome <dan@dansdata.com>
Subject: Page rank 4 link request
Date: Wed, 15 Oct 2008 15:40:41 -0500

Hi:

My name is Kyra Jhons, I´ve visited your website blogsome.com and I
was wondering if you would like to exchange links with my website,
currently I have a Business website and I´m looking for other similars
like yours. In exchange I'll give you a link from my
"Beacalifornias Permdonor Marketing Service" website with page rank 4
(http://www.beacaliforniaspermdonor.com).

Your link will be exactly here:

http://www.beacaliforniaspermdonor.com with page rank 4 (your link will
be in Homepage and NOT at links page!!)

If you are interested please add my link to your site using the
following details, let me know once it's ready and dont forget to send
me your site details for do the same for you, your link will be ready
on my site in less than 24 hours, otherwise you can delete my link from
your site.

Title: UK Prepaid Cards
Url: http://www.what-prepaid-card.co.uk
Description: What Prepaid compares current UK pay as you go prepaid
credit cards.

Or you can use the following html code:

<a href="http://www.what-prepaid-card.co.uk">UK Prepaid Cards</a> -
What Prepaid compares current UK pay as you go prepaid credit cards.

Please let me know once it's ready and send me your site details for do
the same for you. I'll be waiting for your kind reply.

Best Regards

Kyra Jhons

PD: In order to follow anti-spam regulations, please be so kind of
filling in the following form if you don't want to receive any more
messages from this address.
http://www.goodeyeforlinks.com/Contact_Us.html

The link-farm site and the site they want promoted are different because these spammers, like many others, are playing the triangle. I think beacaliforniaspermdonor.com may set a new high-water mark for link irrelevance, pretty much regardless of who gets this spam.

Oh, and in case you're wondering, I am not the boss of Blogsome. And I'm certainly not going to hand out links to any Johnny-come-lately who doesn't even offer me "f-ree software".

I particularly like how they call their link-farm page "Beacalifornias Permdonor". It's like the exact opposite of the Who Represents/Experts Exchange thing. (See also "beontopranking-google.com".)

I don't remember voting for this

Australians will be unable to opt-out of the government's pending Internet content filtering scheme, and will instead be placed on a watered-down blacklist, experts say.

Under the government's $125.8 million Plan for Cyber-Safety, users can switch between two blacklists which block content inappropriate for children, and a separate list which blocks illegal material.

If this actually happens, then it'll be a considerable pain. I'd just switch to using Tor or something to avoid being unable to see "illegal" content (it should be for the courts to decide if a page is "illegal", of course...), but that's pretty bleeding slow.

(On account, of course, of the vast numbers of office workers downloading BlackBackdoorBimbosAndTheirBarnyardBeaus27.avi.)

But I'm pretty sure it's not going to happen.

Similar threats have been made here in the past, and they've always petered out into nothing. There are no votes to be won in actually filtering the Internet, after all. The people who vote based on Net filtering promises are unable to tell whether it's actually happening or not. And there are plenty of votes to be lost when everyone who doesn't call their browser "the Internet" discovers that they can't get to YouPorn or Mininova any more.

There's not even much money to be made in making filtering software that actually works. The big bucks in content filtering were and are based on arse-covering and plausible deniability, not actually stopping anybody from seeing anything in particular.

I confidently predict that this will just end up being another easily-circumvented waste of taxpayers' money.

Laws of Physics 2,937,290,458,937, magic fuel savers 0

I know you were all perched on the edge of your seats about that Moletech, or possibly MTECH, Fuel Saver thing.

Well, The Western Australian Department of Consumer and Employment Protection, or NAMBLA DOCEP, has reached an "undertaking" with the two companies responsible for The MoleWhatever Fuel Saver, in which those companies agree to stop selling their useless gadget in Western Australia and DOCEP agree to not kick their miserable scamming arses into the Indian Ocean.

(I paraphrase lightly. Here's the DOCEP page about this. I've also got a copy of the official PDF press release here.)

I don't know whether the Federal Government has reached an opinion about Moletech, but it didn't look good for them in January.

The Western Australian developments were brought to my attention by the proprietor of the Thinkingisreal blog, who saw a story about the "undertaking" on the WA edition of of the sterling tabloid-TV current affairs program Today Tonight.

Today Tonight and their cousins at A Current Affair appear to decide whether to run an approving or a scathing story about nonsense diets, umpteen useless fuel savers, and psychics, by flipping a coin. Actually, I think dice may be involved, with a roll of 24 or higher needed to get a critical story.

But TT are really solidly committed to this story. Just look at their Consumer Protection page!

In case you're coming to this post a while after I wrote it and that page now actually has some content, be advised that at the time of writing, and since TT ran the story, the sum total of the non-navigation content on that page - which is presumably meant to provide background information for every consumer-protection story the show has ever run - is:

Fuel Saver Ban
Consumer Protection
1300 30 40 54

Seriously, that's it.

They don't even say what Fuel Saver they're talking about.

Awesome work, guys. Bonuses all round.

(I searched for other pages on the 7perth.com.au site that mentioned this, and found the same "Fuel Saver Ban" snippet on this page, which contains what looks like a nose-to-tail site-content dump. The title of that page is - again, if the page isn't there by the time you read this, be advised that I am not making this up - "Alzheimers Cure". And the page-content below the "Fuel Saver Ban" snippet is about a spray-on cure for arthritis pain that uses "Herbal Synergism". Two pages-worth up from the Fuel Saver snippet is... a miracle diet, this time based around milk protein. Magnificent.)

Thinkingisreal had a blog post up about this, but pulled it because there wasn't yet any solid info about the ban on the Today Tonight or DOCEP sites (the press release was mentioned on this DOCEP page, but the link to it was broken. Now the official statement is up. Here's DOCEPs list of current media statements).

Anyway, apparently Today Tonight did a previous story on the Moletech gadget, in which they found "promising results" in their entirely science-free investigation. That story is still proudly mentioned on the home page of moletech.us.

(I originally thought TT had, being at least slightly honest, mentioned this previous story in the most recent one. Thinkingisreal says he doesn't actually remember them doing so.)

But now, wouldn't you know it, TT have changed their minds, and decided that this zillionth example of a fuel conditioner that's supposed to work by some sort of molecular balderdash ("nano negative ions!") is just as useless as all the rest.

That quote from Band of Brothers springs to mind, yet again.

Still no sign of enchanted Prince Albert rings

Vendors of "haunted" objects have apparently diversified from merely selling spooky dolls. Now there are about a billion other "haunted" things for sale on eBay.

(Actually, as I write this, there are only about ten thousand hits for non-Halloween "haunted" things in ebay.com's ever-entertaining "Everything Else" category. There's similar nonsense scattered around various other categories, but Everything Else, especially the wall-to-wall-BS "Metaphysical" subcategory, is where the real winners are to be found.)

You name it, someone's selling it. Ordinary glass marbles that've allegedly "captured the energy at the moment of all sunspot explosions that have ever happened on the surface of the sun". Dime-store rings that allegedly come with an "astral plane incubus", guaranteed to "bring you pleasure during dreams". A "Powerful Amulet" enchanted by a "psychic witch" to bring in "MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF MONEY & CASH FAST".

Some of this stuff costs less than ten dollars all told - the money-amulet is fifteen bucks delivered, but just think how fast you'll make it back. And the "HAUNTED MOST POWERFUL ASTRAL TRAVEL ORB IN THE WORLD!" costs thirty bucks delivered. But c'mon, it's "SUPERCHARGED WITH ASTRAL TRAVEL ENERGY!"

It's possible to spend a fair bit more, though.

"HAUNTED 7 DEVATA PENDANT MOST AMAZING ITEM ON EBAY"? Yours for $149.99.

"Haunted Demon Ring and much more! Money, Power, Love"? $160 delivered.

"HAUNTED WICCAN MARID GENIE DJINN MASSIVE BINDING RITUAL"? $369.99.

"DJINN SON OF OSIRIS HAUNTED RING MARID/EFRIT JINN GENIE"? Fifteen hundred bucks.

"Haunted Ghostly Hand Asylum Window Black & White Photo" or "HAUNTED- THE RING OF UMBRA - THE SEAL OF THE SUMMONER"? Each $2500.

(But the photo doesn't apparently do anything, while the Ring of Umbra is just dripping with "ISHAB MalFatah & Muhamad-Dal-Jafi Magic". This will apparently pretty much turn you into Mister Mxyzptlk.)

"FORTUNATE MISS CLEMENTINE HAUNTED AND LUCKY JEWELRY"? Seventeen thousand dollars.

"AUSTRALIAN BLACK OPAL GEMSTONE 14K GOLD PENDANT HAUNTED"?

Twenty-seven thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine dollars. And thirty cents.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:

The voting public.

My contribution to European sightseeing

I just talked to a nice chap from my bank about my Visa card number being ripped off. Again. I'm getting a new card, they're sending me a form to fill out to get the fraudulently spent money back, blah blah blah. The usual drill, and not that much of a hassle for me, since I don't use the card very often.

The last time this happened - which was actually the first time it'd ever happened to me - was late last year. Someone bought himself a couple of lovely iPods and attempted, unsuccessfully, to purchase $US1500 worth of Ultrasone headphones.

So far, so normal.

This time's a bit different, though. There was just the one charge, working out at a hundred and forty-something Australian dollars, to a payee listed only as "TRENITA". The nice man from the bank told me this was "Trenitalia"; someone was trying to buy Italian train tickets with my credit card.

The charge was instantly noticed by Visa and/or the bank, who did that precautionary-card-lock thing that's usually what you want but which can be a big problem if you've actually gone overseas for a holiday and would now rather like to be able to buy things.

According to the bank bloke, there's been a sudden rash of these Trenitalia charges just over the last few days, indicating that some major company has, yet again, cheerfully handed zillions of card numbers over to what will inevitably be described as "hackers" when someone writes a news story about it.

Sometimes these mass card-number leaks actually do happen because an attacker managed to compromise the security of one or more companies' card databases, or just sniffs a network to harvest any numbers that pass by. But, more often, serious blue-chip businesses seem to just put a billion numbers in plaintext on a laptop and then leave it on a train, or burn a copy of their unencrypted database to a CD and mail it to the wrong person. Or they print the numbers out and send them to newsagents for professional distribution. Or they put them on an open Web server, and Google indexes them. (And there's no reason to suppose that financial institutions will be any smarter.)

I would, out of morbid curiosity, like to know who trod on their dick this time. It'll probably be one company - quite possibly a bank - with which all of the compromised accounts did business. It could also be a credit-card processing firm or "payment service provider", though, that provides card-handling services to many small businesses.

I've only had this card since December last year, but that doesn't narrow it down much. Tell me if you see any news stories about this.

Posted in Scams. 17 Comments »