How to Spot a Psychopath

Herewith, selected thoughts on finally getting around to watch "Doomsday". It's Neil Marshall's third big movie; he also did The Descent and Dog Soldiers.

In brief: Yes, this is indeed total nonsense, but awesome!

Some minor spoilers follow.

Righto, I'm watching a plague movie. Mmm, splatter!

Oh, no - this is Escape from New York, obviously.

I suppose if everything's going to hell, it's not a bad idea to have a genetically enhanced Prime Minister. (Could be better, could be worse.)

No, wait - now I'm watching Aliens.

No, no, hang on - it's Beyond Thunderdome. Leathers and feathers all over the shop.

I don't care what you say - I'll put Scottish post-apocalyptic lunatics up against the post-apocalyptic lunatics of any other nation you care to name.

When you see a bloke with a big dangly punk face decoration and you think, "you're not living in a society where hanging a handle off your face is a good idea, mate", and later on you're proven to be exactly right? Nice.

Honestly, I could go a bit of long pig right now. Yum.

As long as you're not trying to make Great Art, casting stunt-people in primary roles is an excellent idea.

OK, I'm officially shutting down my Nitpicking Cortex now. What I just saw were special post-apocalypse trail bikes, which are completely inaudible until they're six feet behind you. And it turns out to take about three seconds to get a steam locomotive going. And it's been a generation since anybody around here saw a dentist, but they've all got great teeth. And nobody knows how to make a crystal radio any more. And spy satellites will only spot the occasional individual wandering around, even if giant open-air cannibal raves are happening every night.

OK, really stopping with the nitpicks now.

Right, that's it, this whole movie has just been made worthwhile by its inclusion of a Flanders and Swann reference! "PEOPLE HAVE ALWAYS EATEN PEOPLE"!

Craig Conway's deranged yelling skills were clearly wasted when he was a mere, short-lived, "Camper" in Dog Soldiers.

I often, while watching movies, say "there's something you don't see every day". It's great when someone on-screen says it too.

"Gift Shop" is hilarious.

Remember - when you hire Tim Curry, Brian Blessed or Malcolm McDowell, you get the beard for free!

Tough guys don't use Desert Eagles. They use Webleys.

I just saw a man get knocked out with a pheasant.

Since we all know fighter jets will still be functional after a thousand years of neglect, 25 years for a footballers' car is obviously no problem at all.

Good lord, now we're back to Mad Max again, except with a Frankie soundtrack. And there's a spiky Mark II Jag. And a black cab.

I'm surprised that this is the first time something exploded when it crashed. Oh, and there's the second time.

Ooh, that'll be the third.

Seven out of ten.