I'm not crazy about motorsport. I like it more than any other sport, but for me, that's faint praise.
Part of my affection is devoted to the peculiar jargon of the motorsport commentator.
I don't mean just the really good commentators, here. I'll take a Walkerism or Brundlequote if I can get one, but even the God-awful everyday commentators here in Australia (who have a particular affection for the word "carnage", possibly because they think the first three letters mean it's particularly applicable to automobiles) have a collection of diverting stock phrases.
It is, for instance, important not only to "keep it on the black stuff", but also to "keep the shiny side up", and by extension the "rubber side down".
One must attempt to not "spear off into the bushes".
A brake failure, patch of oil or excursion onto wet grass is likely to cause one to "proceed directly to the scene of the accident".
(That's a bit too highbrow for the Aussie commentators, as is the delightful Rolls-Royce euphemism for a breakdown, "failure to proceed". I've also previously mentioned "understeering directly to the scene of the accident" in my Prius post.)
A transmission failure can give you "a box full of neutrals".
"Talent" is generally regarded as a fungible commodity; expressions involving the transfer, location, misplacement or storage (typically in a "bag") of varible quantities of talent may be employed by a driver or rider to explain virtually any occurrence on the track.
If you rip all four wheels off an open-wheeled racing car, you have "turned it into a canoe".
There's also the verb "to alligate", which arises from the description of a line of nose-to-tail racing cars as "an alligator". It naturally follows that what they are doing is alligating, just as oysters oyst, tigers tige and lemurs leme.
I invite your own contributions.
25 October 2007 at 12:15 pm
mm I tought that t'was only a local issue, but now that you say so, I have to tell you that here too (Italy) TV commentators have the same bad attitude. I will never, ever forget the commentary for "Robot Wars".. the commentator would say only "..a robotic Carnage!" and "..in the pit! in the pit!".. NOTHING ELSE! T'was half an hour worth of mixing an shouting of the robot names yelled aloud along with the abovementioned two phrases.. OH GAWD :)
25 October 2007 at 12:16 pm
mm I tought that t'was only a local issue, but now that you say so, I have to tell you that here too (Italy) TV commentators have the same bad attitude. I will never, ever forget the commentary for "Robot Wars".. the commentator would say only "..a robotic Carnage!" and "..in the pit! in the pit!".. NOTHING ELSE! T'was half an hour worth of mixing an shouting of the robot names yelled aloud along with the abovementioned two phrases.. OH GAWD :)
25 October 2007 at 12:16 pm
mm I tought that t'was only a local issue, but now that you say so, I have to tell you that here too (Italy) TV commentators have the same bad attitude. I will never, ever forget the commentary for "Robot Wars".. the commentator would say only "..a robotic Carnage!" and "..in the pit! in the pit!".. NOTHING ELSE! T'was half an hour worth of mixing an shouting of the robot names yelled aloud along with the abovementioned two phrases.. OH GAWD :)
25 October 2007 at 2:46 pm
Apparently there are similarities between commenter & commentator (see above)
I have always loved the comment that cars accelerate once they hit the grass - if true I would drive there all the time.
A friend's wife had the temerity to question why he was home from racing early, to which he gruffly replied - oil leak. What he didn't say was the oil leaked out from the filler cap on account of the car coming to rest "shiny side down".
25 October 2007 at 6:28 pm
I think that the decline of the Forumula One console videogame can be directly linked to Murray Walker's retirement. It's just not the same.
26 October 2007 at 2:43 pm
I have heard so many appropriate examples in my life, but bugger me if I can remember any, other than the most brilliant parody of this very paradigm ... by Mr Billy Birmingham.
26 October 2007 at 4:13 pm
I used to race bikes (motor) off road...and always remember one of the celebrated movers and shakers of the time commenting when confronted with a new Husky or KTM that 'that bike pulls like 14 year old boy'
27 October 2007 at 8:33 pm
I'd be inclined to suggest that whilst Billy Birmingham may have come up with *a* brilliant parody, you haven't heard *the most* brilliant until you've listened to The Grand Prix of Gibraltar, by Peter Ustinov. It's well worth digging around for, especially (but not only) if you have some knowledge of motor racing in the period immediately before and immediately after WWII.